Monday, July 23, 2007
If you give a mouse a cookie (or if you give a son a tie)
To look at it, you'd never know that this tie could cause so much trouble-------
Gray: Mom, could you get me a few ties? I need some fun ones for work.
Later that day-------
Mom, calling on cellphone: Hey Gray, I'm at Smith&James. They've got a few ties you might like but they're expensive. I might be able to swing one here, and maybe one or two at Marshalls.
Gray: OK, send me pics.
Mom, after sending two photos to his cellphone, receives this text message: The yellow one is OK
Mom buys the yellow one, then goes to Marshalls and buys a gold one.
Later that day at home-------
Mom shows Bill what she bought for him at Smith&James, as well as the yellow tie she bought for Grayson.
Bill: WOW! I love that tie. How 'bout I take that tie and you give him the gold one from Marshalls. I can appreciate a $45 tie better than he can.
Mom: Well, he did only say that it was "OK". If he doesn't like the Marshall's one, I'll just go find him another one. Sure, take it.
Later that night-------
Gray: Mom, where's my tie?
Mom: Your dad laid claim to the yellow one, but here's the gold one I got at Marshalls.
Gray: I don't like the gold one.
Mom: OK, I'll take it back and get you something else.
Gray: Can I at least see the tie that you bought me that dad now owns?
Mom (sensing where this is going): Um, yeah.
Gray: I love that tie. I want it back.
Mom (who knows in her heart of hearts she should NEVER have even stepped into this mess): I'll go out tomorrow and see if I can find you something you like as well.
Mom, calling from Ballew & Scott, another men's store: I found a few more ties
Gray: Send me pics
Mom, after sending two photos to his cellphone, receives the following message: Nope
Later that day------
Mom: Gray, I've got an idea. Why don't YOU go buy a tie you want. I'll give you the $45 and you can buy one at Smith&James, or 5 at Marshalls, or whatever you want.
Gray: I have to work today. Can you just get me the yellow one?
Mom: You mean, the one your dad has? You mean you want to have twin ties with your dad?
(At this point the Reader might be wondering why, perhaps, members of the same family could not SHARE ties. Silly Reader! These particular men are ... particular ... about their things. Gray might leave it in a knot overnight, which would totally disrupt Bill's world. Or Bill might be wearing it when Gray wanted it for work, and that would totally disrupt Gray's world. So don't even suggest it...)
Mom goes into Smith&James. They don't have another yellow tie; they do have the same tie in blue. Mom sends picture to Gray, and receives the thumbs down on the blue tie. Helpful Employee phones, and the Greer store can send over the yellow tie and it will be there tomorrow. While Mom's at Smith&James, Mackenzie tells her HE needs some ties too. She buys him a tie and a bowtie that will, she admits, look great with his madras and his seersucker blazers.
Gray goes to Smith&James and gets the yellow tie. So we now own under our roof TWO ties exactly alike. And Bill and Gray are both happy. And Mackenzie is happy. And I? I have learned a valuable lesson. LET MEN BUY THEIR OWN TIES!